Discord

I have been contemplating that which I have borne witness to and it has left me with a spiraling sea of questions that press upon me to be answered.

Are those who profess belief in Higher Truths merely parroting what they have learned in their spiritual explorations? 

Are "we" plagued with the very same hypocrisy and lack of True and Right action as the conventional religions we have walked away from?   Indeed, from what I have witnessed, I say we are.

Which leads me to question just how wide-spread and deep this plague is among the 'aware and enlightened'.  New and improved packaging doesn't automatically reflect the contents.

How do we expect to change the world when so many are still perpetuating the very same paradigms and dramas of mainstream society?

I have seen the chasm between knowledge and wisdom grows wide and the illusions of ego become all the more clever and deceptive as it, too, gains spiritual knowledge.

It is by Divine Grace that I have not lost all hope for humanity and our collective future, for more times than not, those I encounter do not act in harmony with the image of spiritual enlightenment they project with their eloquent and smart words once "pushed" beyond their comfort zones.

But I know in the very core of my being there are those out there whose words and actions create a beautiful harmony and radiate a powerful, dynamic Light.  There are those who are consistent in thoughts, words and deeds no matter what circumstance they may find themselves in -- in the easy times, as well as the difficult times.  

Where are these willing vessels and conduits of the Divine?  The ones who have walked through the Fires of Trial and Refinement and have come out pure, strong and willing to be of service to the Great Work.  Where are those who listen and act upon the whispers of Great Spirit?

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I also wondered if the differences between men and women are still great during these Times of change we are now in...

The men thus far whom I've encountered and interacted with are only willing to 'aid' or 'give' if it means they can exert control over my actions and words and confine me to their belief systems...in essence, they are willing only if they can possess me.

Lovely, seductive words expressing Higher Truths...sentiments of true, unconditional love and personal freedom for both acting like water to a parched soul.  But once they discover I'm beyond categorizing...beyond social norms...beyond being confined to how they think I should be, the illusion is quickly (and somewhat violently) blown away.

My 'silent observer' cannot help but watch with a mixture of amusement, amazement and mild disgust as the other quickly devolves into a fit and strives to exert and gain control over me, not even batting an eyes as they launch 'threats' in my direction if I don't bend to their way -- simultaneously my 'observer' is automatically identifying the triggers and core issues that has given rise to such hypocritical, base behavior. 

To speak out of what is being observed?  Useless -- it just feeds the power struggle drama.  I've learned silence is golden in certain circumstances and I'm learning when to place a 'gag order' on the warrior in me that wants to 'defend' and/or shine Light on the situation at hand...and the desire to return back the energy thrown my way is ever present.  But I'll let the Universe deal out karmic balance in the more personal 'areas',  thank you very much...don't want my ego getting  a hold of

But women, on the other hand...I've watched (either as a third party or by first hand experience) that there is a spirit of True assistance, faith and giving they embody that I've yet to see in men.  Perhaps it is the maternal nature inherent in women (as a whole) that lends to this attribute...I surely don't claim to have the answer...but I can't help but wonder given what I've obsevered.

In analyzing and  reflecting on these dynamics I have witnessed, the next step in the process leads me to question what still lurks and lingers in my own shadows to attract such experiences into my life after doing all the work I've done thus far along my Path.  By George, I believe I've got it!  But that is a tale for another forum -- like a book.

So I know the lessons I've gleaned from these experiences and I also know the beliefs I'm tempted to erect from these experiences...but I think in this moment the I've found a Balance...

Never again will I place my faith in men (meaning 'mankind' here now) to act according to his speech until AFTER I see how he responds and reacts when the going gets tough...

Never again will I lay plans in which the success of such are dependent on another person honoring their word -- for the minds and hearts of men are fickle and calculating.

And I do not say this as a person scorned and jaded.  It is a matter of recognizing that when an illusion is cast away, it is truly only myself I have to "blame" for placing my trust, hope and faith in anything/anyone other than the Divine directly.

A question that plagues me with these conclusions, however, is "how does one co-create a  new paradigm with others in light of these conclusions?".

Like attracts like...

So with detached hope, I will hope that the most recent experiences were a banishment of old thought patterns that still lingered within me and a 'final test'; and that from here on out those I encounter and 'attract' are indeed in harmony with my highest ideals and visions -- for myself and for humanity as a whole.